the notes

What this journal is for

The journal exists because choosing a name is one of the small, slow decisions that benefit from being thought about out loud. We write short essays on the parts of the choice that don't fit neatly into a list or a database: how a name sounds when said quickly, when said in anger, when said by a child still learning to pronounce their own name. How middle names take on weight when they honour someone. How some names feel like a window opening and others feel like a door closing, and why that is.

The pieces tend to be short. We try to write the way we'd talk about a name with a friend over coffee - with attention, but without solemnity. The aim is not to prescribe but to give parents a few more handholds for thinking about their own choice.

Topics we keep returning to

Some questions come back again and again: How do you choose a middle name when nothing in the family fits? When does a name sound dated and when does it sound timeless? Why do some siblings' names feel like a set and others feel like a pile? How much should a name's meaning matter, and how much should its sound? We don't have settled answers to any of these, but we keep circling them because they're the questions parents actually wrestle with.

How to use the journal alongside the name lists

The lists on this site - the boy names, the girl names, the origin pages - are designed for browsing and shortlisting. The journal is for the part that comes after, when you have a few candidates and you're trying to feel out which one is right. A list will tell you that Felix means lucky and that it has two syllables. The journal will think with you about what kind of child carries a name like Felix, and what that asks of the middle name beside it.